This just in…
The Sun Has Two Eyes and a Mouth
I repeat…The real sun has two eyes and a mouth. Why can’t we see them, you ask? Because it’s too high in the sky.
(How dare you question that iron-clad logic?)
Now, the burning question on everyone’s mind…Can the sun talk?
The sun had already set before we had a chance to pose this question to it. So, we’ll be going to bed on that cliffhanger tonight. No worries…My son will be the first man on the scene at sunrise, ready and waiting for an exclusive interview.
And, in a completely unrelated story (also courtesy of the four-year-old news network):
Wise Decisions are Good Decisions
“On Friday at naptime, everyone in my class made a wise decision…except _________.” (Insert name of poor, unsuspecting classmate here. For the purposes of this discussion, let’s call him Skippy.)
I’m sorry, Skippy…I’m afraid my son sold you out. You can let your mother know I’ll be giving her a spa gift certificate. Because if you’re the last man standing at naptime in a room full of four and five-year-olds (one of which is my son)…She deserves it.
Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first.